So...if pronouns are tied to a person's gender "identity", and if you insist on "chosen" over "preferred", does that mean that one's gender "identity" is something that is chosen? Is it something you can just change on a whim, like a choice of outfit, or food condiment?

As for "preferred" vs. "chosen", choice is an expression of preference, so I fail to see how you're not trying to invent a problem where it doesn't really exist.