Surviving the irrational guilt of single parenthood

Detail adapted from “The Guilt That Follows”, courtesy of Archive.org

If you are a recently-separated single parent, or a parent facing imminent or possible separation, I am here to tell you that there will no easy way out of the irrational guilt that may be headed your direction, even if your separation was for the noblest of reasons, or simply unavoidable .

Whatever your part in the dissolution of your marriage, even if it had to happen for the sake of your children, and there was nothing you could have done (or done better) to save it, you are likely going to have long, sleepless nights when your inner critic will seize upon the opportunity to jab you in your most primal and sensitive place, and that is your love for your children. Especially in the early going, you may be haunted by their whispers in your ear…

You have ruined their childhood.

They will never get over this.

They will never get married and start a family because of you.

You are selfish for not having hung in there.

You suck!

I went through this most intensely in 2015 (the year of my separation), and off-and-on…